Sitting outside the point listening to Crystal Castles - Baptism. Knodding my head to the beat and watching cars drive past.

I am beginning to think I am not qualified for college. . . or maybe over qualified. Way to old to still be here. Where am I going to go afterwards? Yeah like most everyone else hasn't asked themselves that . . . Options: Chicago, DC, Arcosanti, glass blowing, crafts, Iran, Alaska. I want to expand my skills meaningfully. What I start doing after college should reflect where I want to be in ten years or even five years so I'm not scrambling to catch up lost time once I actually do find purpose.

Thou Shalt Not Judge Others

But for real, I think we have to. If ther is no divine then it falls to us and us alone to judge others. I came to this though on my troll trough my beliefs on capital punishment. I believe that we as humans have the right and responsibility to decide the fate of another as serious as sentencing them to death. If life is sacred, it is only because religion has decided this so. Every life has a function whether it's to cure cancer or to show you how not to live your life. In the end, we have not only a right, but a responsibility to judge others. Are they friendly? Are they harmful? Are they harmful enough to remove from society or life? When someone says you can't judge me, they mean to say that you have also done evil and are not perfect enough to judge me. Are those that commit evil without the proper frame of reference to judge another, or does it make them more qualified since they understand the degrees of evil.

Beyond Thuderdome

The human capacity to catalouge is beyond Thuderdome. The driving need to label each and every species, every physical law, and everything else seems to interfere with our growth of communal conciousness. By seeking to define everything, we further distance ourselves from the truth. We are all the same. We are all made of the same energy.

LORD'S NAME IN VAIN

There, I've taken it. It's mine now. Or at least that's how it would seem in my house. To say the word "God" is an offence against the silver medal of commandments, "You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name." To make as simple a play of words as here would equate sacrilege. My mother's already picked out the torn rags in which they will stone me in. The name of God is not the word God. "God Damn It!" or "God Forbid!" are just as valid forms of observing the 2nd Commandment as saying the "Lord's Prayer" or "God Willing." The problem is the context which is association, that you can ask God to use his power of Judgment, but how is this any different than a prayer of petition.

It's as if everyone has lost the meaning of their religion these days. I had to explain to a Jewish girl that prophets were unequal to messiahs. She told me that Jews don't believe in prophets and they are still waiting for one to come. I had to tell her, "No that's wrong. That's not what you believe."

Jesus had seen a religion that had stagnated. Judaism was isolated. The "God of Israel" was not a "God for All." Jesus broke the walls of worship by expressing values of missionary work and brotherly love. Treat all equal and show them the best way to do the same.

For my eyes only

I needed a space that I could manipulate without feeling I was under someoneseyes. Even now, this puny space on the intraweb is probably being viewed by some censory program, though not a human (god forbid I think I'm that important.) My time these last few days seems to lack importance of function. I am obsolete. I need to update my systems before I fall totally behind. I keep trying, such as with cllimbing and working out, but that just isn't enough. Why is the question always "what am I looking for?"? Maybe I know I'm looking for a reason for life and my reason for life is the search for an actual higher meaning. God is never going to be enough, for too long we have listened to the words of others passed down from generation to generation. Is this what rambling sounds like.